Essa semana estou enfrentando alguns dos meus fantasmas. Aqueles traumas e magoas passados que de tempo em tempo volta em nossos pensamentos. Acho que todos temos isso, de uma forma ou de outra. Pode ser aquele professor na escola que nos perseguia, algum colega que nos atormentava, ou um chefe que aterrorizava nossa vida. Penso que por mais terapia que facamos, sempre fica algo. Entao estou tentando encara-os, para assim evitar que se transformem em fantasmas.
Eu tenho varios. Um deles eh a minha relacao com os clubes de futebol onde passei a maior parte do meu tempo da juventude, quando jogava futebol nas categorias de base do Inter e Gremio. Dez anos pra ser preciso. Depois que parei de jogar, eu nunca consegui superar o trauma de ter fracassado em me tornar um profissional. Foi tanta pressao, tanto sacrificio pra algo que por muitos anos me pareceu ter sido em vao, mas hoje vejo que moldou minha personalidade e me ensinou muito. Agora a vida me fez reencontrar os amigos daquela epoca, que seguiram na carreira profissional e agora lhes chegou a idade de parar. Eles voltam a Porto Alegre e pouco a pouco vamos nos reencontrando, relembrando velhos tempos. Ja planejamos de ir esta semana e visitar nosso passado.
O outro fantasma eh bem mais recente, que se refere a minha doenca. Meu desafio era voltar ao hospital onde fiz todo o tratamento aqui. Para quem nao sabe, tem gente que tem nausea soh de ver o medico que o tratou tamanho eh o trauma que fica das sessoes de quimioterapia. Eu tinha um pouco disso, e nao me fazia bem passar em frente, quanto mais entrar. Hoje passei por perto e decidi visitar os amigos que fiz la, os enfermeiros. Foi muito legal, era como reencontrar colegas que nao via ha anos. Todos queriam saber detalhes do tratamento nos USA, e o legal era que eles sabiam de tudo, pois acompanham as noticias de cada paciente pelos medicos. Cria-se uma relacao profunda de afeto mutuo, e uma torcida para que o paciente venca a doenca, num mundo em que o final feliz eh uma excessao e nao a regra.
Agora soh falta encarar meu ex-chefe. As vezes olho pra tras, se eu nao tivesse pedido demissao em agosto de 2007, hoje estaria tranquilo financeiramente. Mas a vida nao quis assim, e fui pra carreira solo no momento em que estava prestes a descobrir o maior desafio da minha vida. Ou seja, Deus quis que meu desafio fosse completo. Entao vou ligar pra ele, e dizer que sinto a falta dos bons momentos juntos, mas na maioria das vezes nao aguentava o estilo e forma deles verem as pessoas e a vida em geral.
Num livro espirita que estou lendo agora, eles define messes fantasmas como sendo fruto de traumas na infancia ou mesmo em outras vidas. Seja o que for, eu acho que temos que enfrenta-las agora, e embora nao seja possivel extermina-las, podemos viver em harmonia com elas. Tambem eles falam sobre saber perdoar, e eu concordo plenamente que devemos perdoar e tambem nos liberar da culpa que carregamos. Seres humanos erram no processo do crescimento e aperfeicoamento.
Beijo pra todos.
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This week I’m trying to face some of my ghosts. Those traumas and bad feelings that from time to time they come up. I think that all of us have it, in one way or another.
It can be that teacher in the school that chased us all the time, some colleague that harassed us, or a boss that terrorized our lifes. I believe no matter how much therapy we take, something will remain. So I’m trying to face them, in an attempt to avoid them becoming “ghosts”.
I got several. One of them is my relationship with the football clubs where I spent most of my youth, when I used to play for Inter and Gremio. Ten years to be precise. After I stopped, I couldn’t really cope with the failure of not having become a professional. It was so much pressure, so much sacrifice, for something that during many years I believed was in vain, but now I know it molded my personality and taught me a lot. Now life puts me in touch with my old colleagues, that succeed as a professional footballers and now their time is up due to age. They are coming back to Porto Alegre and little by little we are meeting again, remembering our old times. We have already made appointment to visit the clubs this week.
Another ghost I have is more recent, and it refers to my illness. My challenge was to come back and visit the hospital where I had most of my treatment. For those who don’t know, there are people who have nausea just by looking at the treating doctor, such is the trauma that chemotherapy causes. I had a little bit, and didn’t feel well passing by in front of the hospital, imagine getting inside. Today I was nearby and decided to visit my old friends, the nurses. It was very nice, it was like meeting friends that I haven’t seen for years. All of them wanted to know details of the treatment in USA, and the nice thing is that they knew everything about me, because they keep following the news of each patient through the doctors. It creates such deep relationship of mutual affection, and the wish that the patient wins the disease, in a world where happy ending is an exception and not the rule.
Now I have to face my old boss. Sometimes I look back and I think if I haven’t resigned in august 2007, today I would be relaxed in terms of financial. But life didn’t play in that way, and went on my solo career at the moment I was about to discover the biggest challenge of my life. God wanted my challenge to be complete. So I will call him and say I miss the good times we had together, but most of the times I couldn’t stand their view about people and life in general.
In a spiritual book that I’m reading now, they see fear and those “ghosts” as a consequence of some trauma during our childhood or even in past lives. Whatever it is, I think we should face them now, and although not possible to extinguish them, we can live with them in harmony. Also they mention about forgiveness, and I truly agree we should forgive and release the blame we carry on our shoulders. Human beings make mistakes that are part of the process of growing and mastering.
Love.
Eu tenho varios. Um deles eh a minha relacao com os clubes de futebol onde passei a maior parte do meu tempo da juventude, quando jogava futebol nas categorias de base do Inter e Gremio. Dez anos pra ser preciso. Depois que parei de jogar, eu nunca consegui superar o trauma de ter fracassado em me tornar um profissional. Foi tanta pressao, tanto sacrificio pra algo que por muitos anos me pareceu ter sido em vao, mas hoje vejo que moldou minha personalidade e me ensinou muito. Agora a vida me fez reencontrar os amigos daquela epoca, que seguiram na carreira profissional e agora lhes chegou a idade de parar. Eles voltam a Porto Alegre e pouco a pouco vamos nos reencontrando, relembrando velhos tempos. Ja planejamos de ir esta semana e visitar nosso passado.
O outro fantasma eh bem mais recente, que se refere a minha doenca. Meu desafio era voltar ao hospital onde fiz todo o tratamento aqui. Para quem nao sabe, tem gente que tem nausea soh de ver o medico que o tratou tamanho eh o trauma que fica das sessoes de quimioterapia. Eu tinha um pouco disso, e nao me fazia bem passar em frente, quanto mais entrar. Hoje passei por perto e decidi visitar os amigos que fiz la, os enfermeiros. Foi muito legal, era como reencontrar colegas que nao via ha anos. Todos queriam saber detalhes do tratamento nos USA, e o legal era que eles sabiam de tudo, pois acompanham as noticias de cada paciente pelos medicos. Cria-se uma relacao profunda de afeto mutuo, e uma torcida para que o paciente venca a doenca, num mundo em que o final feliz eh uma excessao e nao a regra.
Agora soh falta encarar meu ex-chefe. As vezes olho pra tras, se eu nao tivesse pedido demissao em agosto de 2007, hoje estaria tranquilo financeiramente. Mas a vida nao quis assim, e fui pra carreira solo no momento em que estava prestes a descobrir o maior desafio da minha vida. Ou seja, Deus quis que meu desafio fosse completo. Entao vou ligar pra ele, e dizer que sinto a falta dos bons momentos juntos, mas na maioria das vezes nao aguentava o estilo e forma deles verem as pessoas e a vida em geral.
Num livro espirita que estou lendo agora, eles define messes fantasmas como sendo fruto de traumas na infancia ou mesmo em outras vidas. Seja o que for, eu acho que temos que enfrenta-las agora, e embora nao seja possivel extermina-las, podemos viver em harmonia com elas. Tambem eles falam sobre saber perdoar, e eu concordo plenamente que devemos perdoar e tambem nos liberar da culpa que carregamos. Seres humanos erram no processo do crescimento e aperfeicoamento.
Beijo pra todos.
************************************************************************************
This week I’m trying to face some of my ghosts. Those traumas and bad feelings that from time to time they come up. I think that all of us have it, in one way or another.
It can be that teacher in the school that chased us all the time, some colleague that harassed us, or a boss that terrorized our lifes. I believe no matter how much therapy we take, something will remain. So I’m trying to face them, in an attempt to avoid them becoming “ghosts”.
I got several. One of them is my relationship with the football clubs where I spent most of my youth, when I used to play for Inter and Gremio. Ten years to be precise. After I stopped, I couldn’t really cope with the failure of not having become a professional. It was so much pressure, so much sacrifice, for something that during many years I believed was in vain, but now I know it molded my personality and taught me a lot. Now life puts me in touch with my old colleagues, that succeed as a professional footballers and now their time is up due to age. They are coming back to Porto Alegre and little by little we are meeting again, remembering our old times. We have already made appointment to visit the clubs this week.
Another ghost I have is more recent, and it refers to my illness. My challenge was to come back and visit the hospital where I had most of my treatment. For those who don’t know, there are people who have nausea just by looking at the treating doctor, such is the trauma that chemotherapy causes. I had a little bit, and didn’t feel well passing by in front of the hospital, imagine getting inside. Today I was nearby and decided to visit my old friends, the nurses. It was very nice, it was like meeting friends that I haven’t seen for years. All of them wanted to know details of the treatment in USA, and the nice thing is that they knew everything about me, because they keep following the news of each patient through the doctors. It creates such deep relationship of mutual affection, and the wish that the patient wins the disease, in a world where happy ending is an exception and not the rule.
Now I have to face my old boss. Sometimes I look back and I think if I haven’t resigned in august 2007, today I would be relaxed in terms of financial. But life didn’t play in that way, and went on my solo career at the moment I was about to discover the biggest challenge of my life. God wanted my challenge to be complete. So I will call him and say I miss the good times we had together, but most of the times I couldn’t stand their view about people and life in general.
In a spiritual book that I’m reading now, they see fear and those “ghosts” as a consequence of some trauma during our childhood or even in past lives. Whatever it is, I think we should face them now, and although not possible to extinguish them, we can live with them in harmony. Also they mention about forgiveness, and I truly agree we should forgive and release the blame we carry on our shoulders. Human beings make mistakes that are part of the process of growing and mastering.
Love.
