News from Carlos - 1st day Chemo (2nd round)

(see below for english)

Comecou a quimio hoje. Estava nervoso e inquieto. Saber o que me esperava, deveria ter me deixado mais tranquilo, mas acho que foi o contrario, preferia nao saber o que me esperava. Acho que prefiro lutar de olhos fechados, sem ver o tamanho do inimigo. Mas enfim, como programado, comecei a segunda fase do tratamento. Passei o dia no hospital, eles tem varios procedimentos de testes e verificacoes.Fiquei com infusoes das 9am as 5pm. Impressionante o efeito imediato da quimio. Foi soh terminar e senti aquela exaustao, peso no meu corpo. Perdi o apetite e comecam as nauseas. Isso no primeiro dia, que normalmente nao tem efeitos muito evidentes. Realmente as altas doses sao uma bomba pro corpo, e tenho tentado beber agua ao maximo, maior recomendacao dos medicos. Ou seja, nao tem problema nao comer, mas tem que ficar tomando agua senao tem consequencias graves no organismo.

Amanha dia 2 dessa maratona, ou como eles chamam ”minus xxxx”.

Beijo pra todos. Fiquem com Deus.

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I started the chemo today. I was nervous and preoccupied. The fact that I knew what I was facing should have tranquillized me, but the opposite happened, it would have preferred not to know what was expecting me. I'd rather fight with my eyes closed, without seeing the size of the enemy. But anyway, as scheduled, I started the 2nd round of the treatment. I stayed the whole day at the hospital, doing their process of tests and verifications. I got infusion from 9am to 5pm. It is impressive how fast is the effect of the chemo. As soon as I finished, I was already feeling exhausted, very heavy. I lost appetite and started to feel nauseous. This on the first day, which is supposedly not a day you feel the effects much. This high dose are really like a bomb for the body, I have tried to drink water a lot, the doctors recommend it. There is no problem if you don't eat, but a lot of water is very important to prevent serious consequences in the organism.
Tomorrow will be day 2, or like they call it "minus xxxx".

Love to all. Stay with God.

News from Carlos - 2nd part of the treatment starting

Eh incrivel que depois de uma semana ainda me sinto extremamente cansado. Tenho tentado aproveitar ao maximo essa pouca energia para brincar com a Julia. Ela tadinha tem sentido a falta da Gabi, inclusive ja foi no quarto que eles estavam aqui no hotel e bateu na porta perguntando por ela. Mas logo ela esquece e chega alguem novo para distrai-la. Ja falta pouco.

Estou ansioso porque amanha comeca o tratamento novamente. Novamente me sinto a frente do Everest, e sei das dificuldades que vou enfrentar, mas certo que nao ha outra opcao senao encarar e superar este obstaculo. Sera o mesmo procedimento, tres dias de quimio, e transplante logo em seguida.

Terei mais noticias no começo da proxima semana.

Beijao

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It is amazing that after one week, I still feel extremely tired. I tried to enjoy as I could this little bit of energy to play with Julia. Poor her, she misses Gabi, she already went to the room they were and knocked on the door, asking for her/ But soon she will forget and somebody else will come to distract her.

I am anxious to start again the treatment tomorrow. I feel I am in front of the Everest again, I know how difficult it will be, but sure that there is no other way out that to go through this. It will be the same process as I alerady did: 3 days of chemo, and transplant right afterwards.

I will have more news in the beginning of next week.

News from carlos - Julinha's birthday

(see below for english)

Hoje fizemos o aniversario da Julia em casa, adiantamos a festinha para aproveitar que minha irmazinha estava aqui, e tambem porque no dia do aniversario dela estarei no pior periodo. Foi lindo, a Bele decorou a casa, arrumou tudo com baloes. A Julia esta tao feliz com a Gabi, elas brincam o dia inteiro, realmente fazia falta alguma crianca para a Julia brincar. Fico com pena de pensar que amanha ela nao tera com quem brincar novamente. Ja se tornou um habito ela acordar e correr pra chamar a Gabi. Ao mesmo tempo, eh triste ela ter que crescer sem moradia fixa, sem rotina, sempre viajando e se adaptando, e consquentemente sem conviver com amigos e familia. Ela sempre pergunta pelos amiguinhos Duda, Khaio e a prima Helena.

Confesso que foi uma sensacao estranha no aniversario, apesar de estar feliz de poder curtir esse momento, varias coisas passaram na minha cabeca. Sao coisas invevitaveis que passam na cabeca de quem esta numa situacao como a minha. O pior sao duvidas quando ao futuro e questionamentos sobre a vida. Quantos aniversarios estarei com ela? … No final nao consegui conter o choro na hora do parabens, e fiquei muito abalado emocionalmente. Eh algo que mesmo tentando ser forte, eh impossivel evitar. Tem horas que simplesmente eh impossivel esquecer a ameaca, fazer de conta que esta tudo bem, e ser positivo. Esse eh o mundo que estou vivendo, essa montanha russa de sentimentos. Amanha fico bem de novo, mas tem momentos que desmorono e tenho que aceitar isso, juntar forcas e seguir adiante com o mesmo astral de sempre.

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Today we celebrated Julia's birthday at home, we did it few days earlier so she can celebrate with my little sister and also because on the actual day, I will be very sick again. It was amazing, Cibele decorated the house, with many balloons. Julia is so happy with Gabi, they pay together the whole day, she really needed another child to play. I feel sad to think that starting tomorrow, she won't have anybody to play with again. It is already part of her routine, when she wakes up, she runs and calls for Gabi. It is sad for her to grow up without a stable place to live, she is always travelling and cannot live together with her family and friends. She always asks about her friends Duda, Khaio and her cousin Helena.

I must confess it has been a weird feeling for her birthday, even if I am really happy to be able to enjoy those moments, many things crossed my mind.Things that someone in my situation can not avoid. Like doubts and questions about the future and life. How many birthdays will I have with her? I couldn't avoid crying when singing "happy birthday", and I felt emotionally shaken afterwards. Even if I try to be strong, this is something I can't avoid. Sometimes, it is simply impossible to forget the threat, just pretend that everything is alright, and stay positive. This is the world I am living in, this roller coaster of feelings. Tomorrow I will be fine again, but sometimes I come down and I have to accept this, gather strenghts and go on with the same good energy as usual.

Last days to buy your ticket!!

ITALIAN LUNCH & SWIMMING POOL ON COSTA CLASSICA SHIP!

19 & 20/06/2009

Time: 1 pm (please be on time). You can come starting 11am to enjoy the swimming pool with your kids!

Venue: Deck 8, Tivoli Restaurant on Costa Classica Ship. Ship will be docked at Ocean Terminal

Value: 800 HKD per person (all will go the fundraising)
including lunch, wine and lucky draw (Ferregamo, Ferrari, La Perla & I Blue).

Please kindly note that children are also invited (under 12 can pass as non-paying). The children may eat on board and have access to the pools on deck. Helpers are also welcome. BRING YOUR BATHING SUITS!!

To book your ticket now, please contact :
Linda : lindatorlof@hotmail.com
Alessandra : alessandra_salles@hotmail.com

News from Carlos

Tenho curtido bastante os dias de descanso. Muitos amigos nos visitando, familia aqui etc. Eh uma sensacao estranha, saber que isso eh temporario, e que no dia 18/6 vou entrar naquele sofrimento novamente. Entao por um lado quero que os dias passem devagar, mas por outro quero que chegue logo para que faca o tratamento e possa seguir adiante com nossas vidas. Durante o tratamento eu durmo o maximo possivel, assim os dias passam mais rapido. Eh o artificio que uso para enganar o tempo. Agora eh o contrario, os dias sao preciosos e quero aproveita-los. Alias, as nossas vidas deveriam ser assim, dias preciosos a serem aproveitados e vividos ao maximo.

Bjs
Carlos

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I have really enjoyed the few days of rest. Many friends visiting, our family here, etc. It feels strange to know it is temporary, and that on 18th June I will have to go through all the suffering once again. So on one hand I want the days to pass very slowly, and on the other hand I want to undergo the treatment soon so we can go on with our lives. During the treatment, I sleep as much as I can, so the days go faster. This is the artifice I have used to mislead the time. Now it is the opposite, days are precious and I want to enjoy as much as I can. And life should be like this, precious days to be enjoyed and lived as much as possible.