Message from Carlos : treatment started

(see below for text in english)

Fomos nos hospital hoje para ultimas avaliacoes e resumo do que vira nos proximos dias. Confesso que agora caiu a ficha da complexidade do processo e dos riscos. Em outras palavras, estou todo cagado de medo (perdao pela expressao). Fiquei com frio e tremendo soh para as primeiras injecoes. Acho que era mais pelo marco do comeco de um processo durissimo, do que as injecoes em si, que nao sao nada doloridas. Agora a noite comeco a sentir dores decorrentes da medicacao. Os ossos doem porque estao produzindo celulas em excesso. Esse processo leva 4 dias e depois fazemos a coleta dessas celulas num aparelho que parece de emodialise, onde todo o sangue eh passado, ficando as celulas que serao congeladas. Sao dois dias coletando celulas, num processo que dura umas 5 horas. Depois disso, proxima quarta feira, comeca a quimio.

Aproveitei para ficar a tarde com a Julia. Ela eh a minha maior fonte de inspiracao e forca. Adoro ve-la crescer, acompanhar cada passo, cada palavra nova. Agora ela comeca a misturar algumas palavras em ingles. Incrivel como as criancas sao perspicazes e percebem a situacao ao redor. Ao chegarmos ao hospital esta manha, Julia me olhou no olho e disse “papai dodoi”. Essa eh a parte mais dificil de tudo isso.

Beijos pra todos.

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Today, we went to the hospital for last tests and explaination on what is next. I must confess that I understood only now the complexity of the process and the risks. I am really scared. I was cold and shaking for the first injections. I think it was more because it is the beginning of a tough process than because of the injections themselves, which are not painfull at all. Tonight I started feeling pain due to the medication. Bones are hurting because they are producing much more cells. This process takes 4 days, then they do the cells collection. All the blood goes through a machine that separates cells, that will be frozen. It takes about 2 days to collect the cells, each day is about 5 hours. After that, on next wednesday, I will start the chemo.

I spent time with Julia in the afternoon. She is my biggest source of inspiration and force. I love to see her growing up, to watch every step, every new word. She is now starting to mix some english words with portuguese. It is amazing how children are perspicacious and aware of what is going on. When we got to the hospital this morning, she looked at me straight in the eyes and said "daddy sick". That is the most difficult part.